Reality to Earth . . . Did I just hear you right? You're bringing back WHAT?
I know things are going badly over at NBC (The president of entertainment at the network as much as said so to reporters on Friday), but when you hear something like this one brainstorm you wonder if somebody's leg was being pulled right out of its socket in the meeting during which this idea came up.
Then you do a little research and realize they're taking it seriously and seem to be suggesting you might want to do so as well. The NBC network is reaching back into television's spoof-laden past to come up with . . . Drumroll please . . . A "visually spectacular reinvention" of "The Munsters" as an hour long drama. (I believe, given the fact it's being woven together by Brian Fuller (!), the same character who worked on the late, lamented "Pushing Daisies", and Bryan Singer (!!), who led the X-Men onto the screen, a dramedy with a bit of action is a more likely outcome.)
That's "The Munsters", folks. If you have any connection to a place where syndicated TV shows filled part of your childhood, you probably remember them. The show had two singularly goofy seasons on CBS in the 60's, along with a few movies and telemovies, and a late 80's syndicated reboot to its name. This came with the aid of a rather genial group of actors in classic movie monster make-up, interacting blithely with the 'normal' societies they were wrapped up in.
Sometimes lately I watch television with the same fascination some people watch auto races; to see when things go spectacularly wrong. NBC as of late qualifies as an auto race in which the track is littered with wreckage while some of the pit teams seem to have been diverting ideas from the main grid and saving the entertaining stuff for USA Network, where the short-season programming and the odd fun concepts NBCUniversal are generating seem to be doing a hell of a lot better than what's being splashed out onto the senior circuit. Perhaps they should be getting this one instead of the network, or it should be sent to one of their other wings, SyFy, as it would be the only way to assure the show would last long enough into the slash-and-burn festival NBC calls a television season to find out what they've gotten themselves into.
Are the networks running out of ideas? It's a good question without a definitive answer, but "Grandpa" Al Lewis standing down in his dungeon and mixing various potions might never have reached for an ingredient like this to throw into the mix. In any event, stay tuned ladies and gentlemen. Whether it makes sense or not, it's happening. I only shudder to think what's next.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Is it Over Yet? A Holiday Primer
Happy New Year, all. It's January 3rd, ladies and gentlemen. The hangovers of the world, both liquor-driven and holiday-prompted, should have faded by now enough to get back to whatever it is you do best, whether student or office drone; outdoors, indoors or behind closed doors.
In the world of commerce, it's been a better year for the shopkeeper, most especially if he or she is working at a distance from the consumers they've been courting. More people have been using the internet as an option, and while many use it as a convenience, I find there's a considerably larger reason for using the shipping departments of the world to handle Holiday Shopping; a reason which, had it existed in the 1840's, would have scared Ebeneezer Scrooge out of his mind in a way the three ghosts of Christmas never could have . . . And probably for the worse.
The opening of the shopping season has been, for the past few years, the scene of cavalry charges at the openings of stores which make "The Valley of Death" the "600" rode into look like Sunday afternoon on a merry-go-round. When people start talking about injuries and death tolls, something's wrong here, folks. There have been instances in the past few years where some loose end was carrying, and I don't mean boxes and bows, and someone was shot as a result. K-Mart has had to change its way of doing business since one of their people died in a stampede (Humans, not cattle) in 2008.
The latest example of this holiday spirit involved $180 sneakers, the Air Jordan XI's, where fights broke out in at least ten states where the footwear went on sale, with subsequent E-Bay resales tripling the price.
Seeing the holidays the way they're currently run, I have no doubt the old man would have sent Tiny Tim a check via Paypal, his family a turkey via Peapod and other gifts via Amazon, e-mailed Cratchit his promotion and raise with a request he run the office, and then crawled under the comforter on his four-post bed to await the ghost of Christmas yet to come. If he made it through to New Year's Eve, he would have needed to keep off the roads on Amateur Night, when most of those who drive shouldn't, especially drunk.
As is to be expected, most of us live to tell the tales of Christmas and New Year's, both good and ill. Let's get back to whatever it is we do well with the understanding that this year, maybe we'll do it a little better. It's quite possible . . . Even in a election year.
In the world of commerce, it's been a better year for the shopkeeper, most especially if he or she is working at a distance from the consumers they've been courting. More people have been using the internet as an option, and while many use it as a convenience, I find there's a considerably larger reason for using the shipping departments of the world to handle Holiday Shopping; a reason which, had it existed in the 1840's, would have scared Ebeneezer Scrooge out of his mind in a way the three ghosts of Christmas never could have . . . And probably for the worse.
The opening of the shopping season has been, for the past few years, the scene of cavalry charges at the openings of stores which make "The Valley of Death" the "600" rode into look like Sunday afternoon on a merry-go-round. When people start talking about injuries and death tolls, something's wrong here, folks. There have been instances in the past few years where some loose end was carrying, and I don't mean boxes and bows, and someone was shot as a result. K-Mart has had to change its way of doing business since one of their people died in a stampede (Humans, not cattle) in 2008.
The latest example of this holiday spirit involved $180 sneakers, the Air Jordan XI's, where fights broke out in at least ten states where the footwear went on sale, with subsequent E-Bay resales tripling the price.
Seeing the holidays the way they're currently run, I have no doubt the old man would have sent Tiny Tim a check via Paypal, his family a turkey via Peapod and other gifts via Amazon, e-mailed Cratchit his promotion and raise with a request he run the office, and then crawled under the comforter on his four-post bed to await the ghost of Christmas yet to come. If he made it through to New Year's Eve, he would have needed to keep off the roads on Amateur Night, when most of those who drive shouldn't, especially drunk.
As is to be expected, most of us live to tell the tales of Christmas and New Year's, both good and ill. Let's get back to whatever it is we do well with the understanding that this year, maybe we'll do it a little better. It's quite possible . . . Even in a election year.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Happy Purple Finger Day, Egypt
See it in your mind as I see it in mine. It's just after 9PM in Cairo, and a curious ten year old child, for these purposes we'll call him Abdul, is being settled into bed and is staring at his parents' index fingers, or more accurately, at the indelible purple ink which will be staining those fingers until it finally washes off completely . . .
Happy Purple Finger Day. With smiles on their faces, as you could judge by the camera images broadcast around the world, Egyptians are working slowly through the process of choosing a new government for themselves, a government they earned the right to choose by standing up and requesting it at the top of their lungs until the government in place read the writing on the wall and gave up the ghost of their regime. It wasn't easy, and as anyone on this side of the Atlantic will be glad to tell you, it isn't going to be easy. Down the road in Iraq, another group of smiling, purple fingered citizens could tell them that just as easily . . . Although the threat of being locked in a cellar with a reasonably psychotic gentleman with various painful implements for putting an "X" in the wrong place is no longer an issue.
They're taking there time with the process; watching it closely to make sure there's no cheating and telling the rest of the world it should take until mid-January until things run their course and a Parliament is chosen. It sounds like a plan to me, and someday, when little Abdul starts turning his finger purple on a regular basis, they'll probably be able to do it faster, all things progressing as the people want it to.
The boy is looking to his mother and father, and asking about the what the purple fingers mean. What they might be able to tell him is that the idea is simple. The image of Egypt is not to be what Pharaoh decrees, or the King demands, or what the current corrupt head of state arranges to have happen while he strips huge chunks of the country's riches from it. It is to be what they decide it will be. Everyone with a purple finger.
Happy Purple Finger Day. With smiles on their faces, as you could judge by the camera images broadcast around the world, Egyptians are working slowly through the process of choosing a new government for themselves, a government they earned the right to choose by standing up and requesting it at the top of their lungs until the government in place read the writing on the wall and gave up the ghost of their regime. It wasn't easy, and as anyone on this side of the Atlantic will be glad to tell you, it isn't going to be easy. Down the road in Iraq, another group of smiling, purple fingered citizens could tell them that just as easily . . . Although the threat of being locked in a cellar with a reasonably psychotic gentleman with various painful implements for putting an "X" in the wrong place is no longer an issue.
They're taking there time with the process; watching it closely to make sure there's no cheating and telling the rest of the world it should take until mid-January until things run their course and a Parliament is chosen. It sounds like a plan to me, and someday, when little Abdul starts turning his finger purple on a regular basis, they'll probably be able to do it faster, all things progressing as the people want it to.
The boy is looking to his mother and father, and asking about the what the purple fingers mean. What they might be able to tell him is that the idea is simple. The image of Egypt is not to be what Pharaoh decrees, or the King demands, or what the current corrupt head of state arranges to have happen while he strips huge chunks of the country's riches from it. It is to be what they decide it will be. Everyone with a purple finger.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
I Have Seen the Enemy, and He is Us
I've spent a little time away from the land of opinion the past few months while life was going on. It's good to see you again, although under these circumstances I might have just been better off alternately shaking my head and burying it in the sand. Somehow, WMAM (White Middle-Aged Male . . . Ooh boy children, ain't that scary!) that I am, I seem to be the enemy of most everyone on the planet . . . And I'm not even one of the ones with money.
Walt Kelly, the cartoonist who created a strip called "Pogo" used the intentionally grammatically incorrect statement which titles this peace to make a point over forty years ago, and I find it no more and no less accurate than it can be seen today, in our land of the pointed finger. Put a "Tea Party" member in the room with an "Occupy Wall Street" member and though both of them see massive problems with the current system, want things to change and are protesting against the status quo, there's a good chance you'll need a WWE referee, the National Guard and at least one particular photogenic 'gentleman' from the UC Davis area to separate them.
Neither side is happy. Neither am I. Anyone who has tried to navigate the island of Manhattan in the past months knows what I mean (Hey! Is your getting around and people making it to their jobs on time more important than our message?), and anyone who sees the headaches some of the more extreme forms conservatism can engender in a society knows what I mean. (Can't you see what's happened to our world? Our anti-establishment is better than their anti-establishment any day! Those naughty Democrats!)
One of the more interesting parts of living in a free society is the right to express an opinion in a public forum (Like this one). Keeping people from getting to work to get on with their life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, or suggesting business executive pledge not to hire anyone until the supposed 'war against business' ends, is another.
One of the little sidelights in my life in acting, and locally I had a chance to take part in a production of Arthur Miller's "The Crucible", which is often held up as not only a dramatization of early American witch hunting, but of the later ills of the McCarthy era in hunting Communists. If you think we've grown out of this sort of thing, look around. I see a lot of hands out with their fingers pointed in dozens of different directions, and they are crying 'witch' again everywhere they point.
You are pointing at us, we are pointing at you, and everyone needs to put their fingers down, pick up their shovels and start digging their way out of this shit. It's an old school kind of solution, but it has been known to work.
Walt Kelly, the cartoonist who created a strip called "Pogo" used the intentionally grammatically incorrect statement which titles this peace to make a point over forty years ago, and I find it no more and no less accurate than it can be seen today, in our land of the pointed finger. Put a "Tea Party" member in the room with an "Occupy Wall Street" member and though both of them see massive problems with the current system, want things to change and are protesting against the status quo, there's a good chance you'll need a WWE referee, the National Guard and at least one particular photogenic 'gentleman' from the UC Davis area to separate them.
Neither side is happy. Neither am I. Anyone who has tried to navigate the island of Manhattan in the past months knows what I mean (Hey! Is your getting around and people making it to their jobs on time more important than our message?), and anyone who sees the headaches some of the more extreme forms conservatism can engender in a society knows what I mean. (Can't you see what's happened to our world? Our anti-establishment is better than their anti-establishment any day! Those naughty Democrats!)
One of the more interesting parts of living in a free society is the right to express an opinion in a public forum (Like this one). Keeping people from getting to work to get on with their life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, or suggesting business executive pledge not to hire anyone until the supposed 'war against business' ends, is another.
One of the little sidelights in my life in acting, and locally I had a chance to take part in a production of Arthur Miller's "The Crucible", which is often held up as not only a dramatization of early American witch hunting, but of the later ills of the McCarthy era in hunting Communists. If you think we've grown out of this sort of thing, look around. I see a lot of hands out with their fingers pointed in dozens of different directions, and they are crying 'witch' again everywhere they point.
You are pointing at us, we are pointing at you, and everyone needs to put their fingers down, pick up their shovels and start digging their way out of this shit. It's an old school kind of solution, but it has been known to work.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
The East Coast - A Little Wet Today
Reality to Earth . . . There are some times when overreacting beats all Hell out of under-reacting. This is one of them.
Just ask the folks down south who are still putting their lives together years after everyone with the power to do a better job of protecting them screwed up if that's true.
New York and the East Coast, for those of you with a limited knowledge of where to find the Weather Channel, got hit with a storm named Irene which ranged from a Category Two Hurricane down to a tropical storm. This means some people who aren't used to seeing more than a puddle of water in their front yards are currently looking out their doors at Sea World.
From the start, most of the people whose sole purpose in life seems to be finding a way to stay in the offices they've been elected to jumped to life as if they'd been hit in the backside by a defibrillator paddle. Public transportation was stopped before the storm got here, activities were cancelled and low-lying areas were ordered evacuated without a moment's hesitation.
The Governor of New Jersey, who has more than a few miles of shoreline to worry about, demanded it cleared, and was more than a little pissed off when he saw surfers and beach-goers going about their business of Friday. I quote:
"Get the hell off the Beach in Asbury Park and get out. You’re done. It’s 4:30 PM. You’ve maximized your tan. Get off the beach. Get in you cars and get out of those areas.”
As you might guess, the man isn't considered the shy, retiring type, but he had a lot of company on the local level, with everyone getting on their horse and sounding the battle charge. It may seem like overkill, but before we call this a 'Chicken Little' story because it's not turning out to be a mass destruction event, let's face facts, when it comes to major tropical storms (And this one weighed in at 650 miles across), the New York Tri-State area isn't high on the list of targets, meaning we don't have so much experience as they might have in, let's say, Florida. They did what they thought best and it was a bit . . . Loud.
The bitching would be a lot louder and the casualty list a lot longer if the powers that be were laid back on this one. Believe it.
Just ask the folks down south who are still putting their lives together years after everyone with the power to do a better job of protecting them screwed up if that's true.
New York and the East Coast, for those of you with a limited knowledge of where to find the Weather Channel, got hit with a storm named Irene which ranged from a Category Two Hurricane down to a tropical storm. This means some people who aren't used to seeing more than a puddle of water in their front yards are currently looking out their doors at Sea World.
From the start, most of the people whose sole purpose in life seems to be finding a way to stay in the offices they've been elected to jumped to life as if they'd been hit in the backside by a defibrillator paddle. Public transportation was stopped before the storm got here, activities were cancelled and low-lying areas were ordered evacuated without a moment's hesitation.
The Governor of New Jersey, who has more than a few miles of shoreline to worry about, demanded it cleared, and was more than a little pissed off when he saw surfers and beach-goers going about their business of Friday. I quote:
"Get the hell off the Beach in Asbury Park and get out. You’re done. It’s 4:30 PM. You’ve maximized your tan. Get off the beach. Get in you cars and get out of those areas.”
As you might guess, the man isn't considered the shy, retiring type, but he had a lot of company on the local level, with everyone getting on their horse and sounding the battle charge. It may seem like overkill, but before we call this a 'Chicken Little' story because it's not turning out to be a mass destruction event, let's face facts, when it comes to major tropical storms (And this one weighed in at 650 miles across), the New York Tri-State area isn't high on the list of targets, meaning we don't have so much experience as they might have in, let's say, Florida. They did what they thought best and it was a bit . . . Loud.
The bitching would be a lot louder and the casualty list a lot longer if the powers that be were laid back on this one. Believe it.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
The Market Is Standard And Its Victims Poor
Reality to Earth . . . "Well, as of this moment, they're on DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION! " - Dean Vernon Wormer, Animal House, 1978
Or, as Standard and Poor put it recently, instead of Triple A, we're making you Double A plus!
Oooh . . . Aaah . . . Let's all panic and drop over two billion in value in the stock market because someone took away half of an A. If you need any further proof the people in charge of money and policy need to have their heads examined, and us for putting a good deal of them in place, there you have it.
And just in case that doesn't do it for you, realize that a healthy chunk of the money which was pulled out of the stock market yesterday went, for the most part, into financial instruments of the very same debtor who was downgraded; the US Government.
The losers in all of this? The people who trusted the solutions coming out of Washington for the morass they've delivered us would keep the markets from panicking, and the government itself, who by listening faithfully to Standard and Poor and making it policy to only purchase securities with Triple A stamped on it made the rating an important mark, with anything less seen as a dismal failure.
The winners, as usual, was anyone who held aside enough in the way of liquid assets during the debt ceiling bacchanalia to be ready when its consequences hit the ground in financial America. The market dropped over five hundred points in a day last week and over six hundred thirty yesterday. That made stocks a bargain, and so the bargain hunters came and bought enough to move the market up a robust four hundred thirty points today.
Double secret probation made more sense than those who tend the current financial structures in this nation, and he was what would be referred to in this era as a complete tool.
That's the problem in Washington, come to think of it. All tools and no able carpenters.
Or, as Standard and Poor put it recently, instead of Triple A, we're making you Double A plus!
Oooh . . . Aaah . . . Let's all panic and drop over two billion in value in the stock market because someone took away half of an A. If you need any further proof the people in charge of money and policy need to have their heads examined, and us for putting a good deal of them in place, there you have it.
And just in case that doesn't do it for you, realize that a healthy chunk of the money which was pulled out of the stock market yesterday went, for the most part, into financial instruments of the very same debtor who was downgraded; the US Government.
The losers in all of this? The people who trusted the solutions coming out of Washington for the morass they've delivered us would keep the markets from panicking, and the government itself, who by listening faithfully to Standard and Poor and making it policy to only purchase securities with Triple A stamped on it made the rating an important mark, with anything less seen as a dismal failure.
The winners, as usual, was anyone who held aside enough in the way of liquid assets during the debt ceiling bacchanalia to be ready when its consequences hit the ground in financial America. The market dropped over five hundred points in a day last week and over six hundred thirty yesterday. That made stocks a bargain, and so the bargain hunters came and bought enough to move the market up a robust four hundred thirty points today.
Double secret probation made more sense than those who tend the current financial structures in this nation, and he was what would be referred to in this era as a complete tool.
That's the problem in Washington, come to think of it. All tools and no able carpenters.
Monday, August 1, 2011
A Deficit of Common Sense
Reality to Earth . . . Quoting the great Gorilla Monsoon: "A pat on the back is only eighteen inches from a kick in the ass"
And now we come down to the wire and our politicians have decided to loosen a notch in the belt before the whole belly goes critical and causes us to "default".
"Default" is ours, ladies and gents. We elected them.
And make no mistake, the fight over whether to raise the debt ceiling is more about elections than finance; there's no greater evidence than the little fight which took place earlier in the process when the Republicans proposed a stop-gap which gave us a figure which would insure another round of gamesmanship occurred in 2012 while the Democrats proposed a higher number which would shove this mess into 2013. One side wanted to throw this mess into the view of the voters again just before the next presidential election and the other side was hoping to shove it under the rug until afterwards.
Anyone who tells you differently is selling you something. Somewhere the ghosts of political machines past on both sides are shedding tears of joy over the way their descendants have used the lessons of the past to screw over the voters of the present and call it statesmanship. And while a deal is in the offing as of this writing, the deal isn't done yet and they're dislocating their shoulders patting themselves on the back for a job well done.
This is what they're doing. They are their own bank and they've said they're raising their own credit limit to continue doing business while trying to figure out ways to undo mistakes both sides have been making since the Ford administration and stay in office . . . Mistakes like the one the Carter administration made by taking the only government agency which was firmly in the black at the time (Social Security) and turning what was conceived by FDR as an insurance program (Yay!) into what is now seen as an entitlement program (Boo!).
Only these yahoos could make old people getting the benefits they spent a lifetime paying for seem like wastrels for actually having the stones to ask for their benefits to be paid when it's their turn. (Dirty rotten baby boomers turning 65 and asking for their money . . . For Shame!)
The lot of them want you to forget little details like this when it's the last thing you need to do. Let me make this plain. There are no winners here. There are no heroes here. There are only politicians here, doing what politicians do best and then calling it rain. They'll fix things now alright . . . Just ask any dog or cat what the term 'fixed' means to them and you'll get a good idea of what's coming.
And now we come down to the wire and our politicians have decided to loosen a notch in the belt before the whole belly goes critical and causes us to "default".
"Default" is ours, ladies and gents. We elected them.
And make no mistake, the fight over whether to raise the debt ceiling is more about elections than finance; there's no greater evidence than the little fight which took place earlier in the process when the Republicans proposed a stop-gap which gave us a figure which would insure another round of gamesmanship occurred in 2012 while the Democrats proposed a higher number which would shove this mess into 2013. One side wanted to throw this mess into the view of the voters again just before the next presidential election and the other side was hoping to shove it under the rug until afterwards.
Anyone who tells you differently is selling you something. Somewhere the ghosts of political machines past on both sides are shedding tears of joy over the way their descendants have used the lessons of the past to screw over the voters of the present and call it statesmanship. And while a deal is in the offing as of this writing, the deal isn't done yet and they're dislocating their shoulders patting themselves on the back for a job well done.
This is what they're doing. They are their own bank and they've said they're raising their own credit limit to continue doing business while trying to figure out ways to undo mistakes both sides have been making since the Ford administration and stay in office . . . Mistakes like the one the Carter administration made by taking the only government agency which was firmly in the black at the time (Social Security) and turning what was conceived by FDR as an insurance program (Yay!) into what is now seen as an entitlement program (Boo!).
Only these yahoos could make old people getting the benefits they spent a lifetime paying for seem like wastrels for actually having the stones to ask for their benefits to be paid when it's their turn. (Dirty rotten baby boomers turning 65 and asking for their money . . . For Shame!)
The lot of them want you to forget little details like this when it's the last thing you need to do. Let me make this plain. There are no winners here. There are no heroes here. There are only politicians here, doing what politicians do best and then calling it rain. They'll fix things now alright . . . Just ask any dog or cat what the term 'fixed' means to them and you'll get a good idea of what's coming.
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